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How you say it matters a lot

Conflict is badly handled differences...

The good news is that you can greatly enhance your ability to connect with your partner if you learn and practice language that does not judge, criticize, blame or demand but instead keeps a respectful focus on needs.

“Words can ignite and fuel conflict. They also have the power to engender respect and understanding and inspire co-operation.”

I believe that you did marry the right person, when you stood up in front of all those people and declared your vows on your wedding day. It’s just that once you’re married, all the differences begin to surface. Married couples just don’t have the skills to deal with these differences.

Say what you need

What’s important to realize is that most negative marital interchanges are about judgments. As soon as you judge your partner, their "ears fall off.” Another words, they stop listening.

Instead of judging (and being judged) the key is for people to identify their needs. Then their concerns don’t come out as a judgment, and the other person can respond to the need without feeling attacked.


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