Relationship rewire method™
Over the past 10+ years, founder Ana Loiselle developed the Relationship Rewire Method™ an alterative method to marriage counseling that helps people develop more satisfying relationships. Relationship Rewire Method™ fuses Biology of Emotions, Attachment Theory with Nonviolent Communication into practical strategies for improving relationships.
Straight to the Heart of the Matter
Scientists have discovered that the dizzying array of bad things that happen in relationships can all be traced to a single cause – deficiencies in the core set of abilities that are necessary for relationships to go well.
By measuring the presence or absence of these abilities, researchers have been able to distinguish partners who are headed to a satisfying relationship from partners who are headed for unhappy futures (or break-ups) with over 90% accuracy.
Most people believe that they have the abilities needed to make their relationships go well. But available evidence suggests otherwise.
Studies indicate that most people DO NOT meet the prerequisites for relationship success. It’s not surprising then, that half of all people who marry in the U.S. eventually divorce, and at least half of the couples who stick it out are unhappy with their relationships. Most of us don’t have the habits needed to make our relationships thrive over the long haul. In fact, most people don’t even know what these crucial habits are. And the evidence shows these are not optional. If you want your relationship to go well, you simply must have them!
Why can it be so Hard?
The abilities that are needed for relationships to thrive are easy to understand and learn, but can be difficult to do because at key moments, we often experience strong urges and inclinations that take us in the wrong direction.
Researchers have discovered that, when a relationship is distressed, each partner generally reacts to the other during arguments in highly predictable and patterned ways.
Thanks to some very helpful brain research in the past 30 years, we now know that this is because, across our lives, our brains get conditioned to produce highly specific response programs.
Thankfully, hundreds of studies prove that the ability to shift internal states can be strengthened through practice just as surely as the mechanisms that enable complex musical or athletic movements. The Relationship Rewire Method™ teaches ways to...
Strengthen the ability to let go of upset feelings;
Reduce physical arousal in response to perceived threat;
Curb urges to judge, interrupt, counter, dispute, criticize and defend during disagreements;
Foster the inclination to remain open and flexible during disagreements;
To nourish safety and comfort within your partner.
But There's More...
The Relationship Rewire Method™ goes beyond strengthening the ability to resolve disagreements. It provides methods for cultivating truly enjoyable and secure relationships.
Researchers have found that partners who build strong relationships built on "Us" grounded in emotional safety, fairness, and collaboration can be distinguished from those who don’t by the degree to which they…
Adapt and move together as a team;
Are both committed to making the relationship secure;
Care more about the relationship than themselves;
Are curious about their partners’ inner world;
Notice and acknowledge positive qualities that their partners have, positive things that their partners do, or positive experiences that they have together;
Create shared agreed upon principles of how "We" are going to do this relationship.
Using the Relationship Rewire Method™, partners learn to engage in daily practices that prime their brain for naturally-occurring feelings of warmth, tenderness, affection, playfulness, and sexual desire.
Here are some of the principles that underline the relationship rewire method:
We are all looking to feel loved and cared for. We want to be made a priority, to feel secure and special to our partner. Ana will help you learn how to create a securely attached relationship. In such a relationship couples know how to take care of each other, to guess each other’s thoughts and feelings, to respond to their partner’s distress and attempts at closeness, and to have each other’s back.
When we get too emotional, we act out of our survival instincts, so we can’t really understand each other and empathize. Ana will help you manage your feelings so you stay within a range that is manageable and you can actually listen to and understand each other.
3. Automatic Responses
Since being close to our partner is so crucial for all of us, we usually respond to cues from them with a fast, automatic, knee-jerk reaction–such as changing our tone or subtly becoming more distant. Most of the time we don’t even know we do this, but our partner is still unconsciously affected in a huge way. Learning to recognize your automatic reactions, and what they mean for yourself and your partner is a big step towards a more connected, satisfying relationship.