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The Power of Eye Gazing: How It Deepens Connection and Enhances Intimacy in Relationships

Updated: Dec 22, 2023

In a world filled with distractions and digital communication, the simple act of looking into someone's eyes has a profound impact on our relationships. Eye gazing, the act of maintaining eye contact with your partner, is a powerful tool that can deepen connection, foster intimacy, and improve overall relationship satisfaction. In this article, we will explore why eye gazing matters and how it can positively impact your relationship.

Why Try Eye Gazing? 

One study that was done on how eye gazing affects humans, showed that eye gazing stimulates the release of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. This is the same hormone that's released during breastfeeding and plays a powerful part in social behavior.

When people gaze into each other's eyes they feel more connected. Oxytocin has been linked to a decrease in bullying, an increase in empathy and love.

Generally, people only make eye contact 30-60% of the time when conversing. Yet, couples who were in love made eye contact up to 75% of the time. This is because happy couples feel positive regard towards each other and themselves.

Unhappy couples, on the other hand, may avoid eye contact to either avoid intimacy or because they see a negative reflection when looking into each other's eyes.

How Can Eye Contact Create Intimacy?

 A Japanese study published in the journal Neuroliage provides a clue by looking inside the brain during eye gazing. It seems that eye contact actually synchronizes brain activity between two people.

When you share a moment of eye contact with someone, you are sharing an intimate moment. It's an unspoken way of saying, "I see you and I'm here with you."It can be a very powerful way to connect with someone on a deeper level. In other words, when you and your partner share a loving look, you don't just 'feel' more in sync—your brains are literally syncing up

Eye gazing can especially create intimacy in those who feel disconnected. Since eye contact can feel vulnerable, maintaining eye contact can make people feel more connected and closer to one another.

Build Trust

Gazing with your intimate partner can build trust in a relationship because it creates a deep sense of connection and understanding. When you lock eyes with your partner, you are showing them that they have your undivided attention and that you are fully present in the moment. This level of attentiveness and focus can foster a sense of security and trust, as it communicates that you value and prioritize your partner's feelings and experiences.

Moreover, eye contact can convey honesty and sincerity, as it is difficult to hide emotions or intentions when looking directly into someone's eyes. By being vulnerable and open in your gaze, you are inviting your partner to do the same, creating a safe space for both of you to be authentic and transparent.

When you gaze into someone's eyes, you are essentially saying, "I am open and honest with you." And when the other person gazes back, they are reciprocating that trust.

This mutual trust can be the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship.

Increase Connection

We are wired for interpersonal connection.

Gazing into each other's eyes is a great way to bond with someone you love. When you gaze into your partner's eyes, you feel connected because you're sharing an intimate moment together.

When you gaze into someone's eyes you are seeing them in a way that is pure and unguarded. This can make you feel more connected to them than if you were just talking.

It also increases the ability to empathize with the other person.

Increase Desire

Eye gazing is not only about emotional connection but also about deepening the physical and romantic aspects of your relationship. Eye gazing can increase desire, both sexual and nonsexual.

When you share an intimate moment with someone, such as locking eyes during a conversation, it can create feelings of closeness and desire.

Some people believe that eye contact can be a more intimate experience than sex.

This is because during sex, you are usually focusing on the physical sensations and not necessarily on the emotional connection. With eye gazing, you are completely focused on the other person and your connection to them. This can create a deeper emotional bond.

Here's How To Try Eye Gazing

This exercise helps couples feel more connected.

For some individuals, it feels awkward or even uncomfortable at first. But if you practice eye gazing for a short period of time, you'll be fine.


  1. Start with 2 minutes if you're new to eye gazing and work your way up to 5 minutes.

  2. Set a timer for the agreed-upon time frame.

  3. Take a deep breath and look into your partner's eyes.

  4. Try not to look away when looking at your partner's eyes.

  5. When the timer goes off, break your gaze and breathe deeply.

The important thing is to keep your focus on the eyes and not let your gaze wander.


In a world where communication often occurs through screens and text messages, the importance of eye gazing cannot be overstated. It is a simple yet powerful practice that can transform your relationship by fostering trust, enhancing nonverbal communication, deepening emotional connection, and intensifying intimacy. Take the time to truly see and be seen by your partner through the power of eye gazing, and watch as your relationship blossoms into something truly extraordinary.


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